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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:47:43 GMT -5
Can you hear me? Or is your mind still foggy Are you still blind? To the truth I have shown
How many times must I speak these words Before I break through to you How many times must I draw Your emotional blood
I’ve cut you with my words To make you open your eyes Used the pain to make you hear
Hear me now? Coward Fool Can you see it? The image of you fleeing in fear
If you hold it in your view Then stop, close your eyes Block out all sound, all doubt Look deep with in See what you hate at your core
Give your hate a form Now struggle against
This is the hardest path The path only a man can walk So Are you a man? Or just a child acting out a role?
The greatest challenge in this world Is your own self Do you have the strength? To concur yourself
Can you fight against your own flaws? I don’t care what your answer is There is no other way for change But to change what you are
So do you want to change? Do you want to better your life? Or are you content with this cycle? Being the victim is fun for you isn’t it Is the attention you receive really so satisfying?
I’m sick of your twisted games I want to make you taste the dirt. Your becoming everything I hate. Yet my compassion is to great
So take this last life line Open your eyes, See clearly the world around you The pain and joy Hate and love See not only what you have seen before But watch the subtle motions of those around you See how there every move reflects there thoughts
Hear the true meaning in there words, See the truth in her eyes as she diverts her gaze. Take all these truths Bring them with in yourself Don’t let go
So… Do you hear me yet?
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:48:53 GMT -5
If I were to whisper Would you hear my distant voice? If I were to grasp this nothingness Would you feel my hand squeezing yours.
I want things to flow between us Unhindered by fear I want to loose myself with in you For all eternity
Can I show you what you mean to me Reveal how beautiful life can be When your around Or the state of apathy Which is life with out you
I want you to know how special you are Make you see how your soul does shine Set you up against the stars Let you dazzle the world with beauty unseen
So will you choose to see Every thing I’ve seen Will you choose to be vulnerable? Can you feel that thrill?
Can I take your hand Lead you where you’ve never been? Dive into the unknown No hesitation now Lets bath in what we don’t know Throw away our comfort and find ourselves
I’m ready for this risk, How bout you? I’ve already lived in the darkness For me, the future it unwritten
Lets write our own chapter Stroke by stroke With our own flair. What do you say Want to take a gamble?
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:50:27 GMT -5
There are few worse feelings Then that of being alone Isolated Strangling in a thick silence
Wanting Craving Desiring Something Anything to get away
You want to hear something You want to move Even though your body is as lead You need to move!
The mind You loose a little more With every turn of the gears Every tick of the clock
Your sanity dissolves You want to die Your already dead
You want to live! Cast away this burial shroud of apathy
You want time to start Its frozen Stuck exactly how you hate it Your screaming But no one hears you
Your crying And there is no hand To wipe away the tears
This isn’t the life you were promised This is hell Your separated From everything Even your true self When lost for so long in silence You forget who you are Just keep walking Just keep walking Soul lost in silence
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:52:01 GMT -5
Again with your rambling Wont you just shut up? There you go again Spouting that word to save yourself Fate
Why wont you just accept it There is no such thing as fate Its just a tool A shield in this case Which weak men use
Your no better then them are you? I thought you had potential But there you are Demonstrating the weakness of humanity
Why wont you listen? Why wont you learn? You never seem to understand Until its too late That’s what I hate
Your lack of foresight How dare you compare us Are you that blinded by your self perception So afraid of being wrong That you’ll discard the truth.
Must you repeat this endless cycle? Why cant it be broken Is humanity just too weak? To sever the chain of there slavery
Slaves to the pain Slaves to your helplessness
Is that any way to live? You disgust me Giving in so easily. This is your life So why are you letting go of the steering wheel Think you’ll be alright You have choices for a reason
Just like you have hands for a reason With your hands you are meant to create And with your choices You are meant to craft your own path. We are not like trains on a track So take back the wheel. Turn it to the right or the left I don’t care which way you go So long as you choose
I have no reason to lie This is the honest truth So head my words
To give up your choices Is a crime against this world You sin against yourself When you give up your control
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:52:27 GMT -5
Running from reality Your ever step Is one more into darkness One more step into this world Drowning in you imagination Sheltered from reality Dieing inside A little more each day
Isolated from the world No hand to hold your own In your desperation You fall into yourself Your mind is your only friend Yet your greatest enemy It is your life line And your chain Binding you To this world of make believe.
You are a slave to this monster Waiting for your knight to come save you Even if he come What weapon will he use to slay The god of this world
There is nothing save your soul Sharp enough to pierce the skin Your knight can give you courage But you must swing the sword Slay the beast and watch Reality sets in
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:53:16 GMT -5
I question at times If I’m wrong Wrong about everything If I’m just an Idealistic failure Who cant save anyone
A preacher with out an audience A man who is so twisted by his past That he is willing to cast away everything For nothing
Is this how I am? Or am I something more What a mess of contradictions Who can sort this out What a fine mess I’ve made of my soul
Is my confidence unfounded Am I just another fool Who thinks he has all the answers A charlatan looking for a quick fix I’m no better
No better then those I look down upon. No better then those I shun I am human too So frail in the face of the world Just another drop in the ocean Nothing special at all
Not gifted with any great insight I’m powerless Just an infant Screaming at everything I hate. Yet I can do nothing
Yet Have I been wrong Is what I have said not truth But its not yet reality In the end What will I be remembered as The man who stood strong Or the child who cried about the world
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:54:05 GMT -5
For you there are no words Which can portray my feelings for you Never knew words could fail To convey such a simple thing
An emotion Which fills me slowly A bright radiant pure emotion One which courses though me A thrill greater then adrenalin
I crave you In the most basic sense You are my reason for looking forward to the new day With out you all is a monotonous grey
You inspire me on a daily basis You are both my comfort And my pain. I want you so badly A chance is all I desire
A chance to show you how much you mean to me I want you to know that I care for you So much so that it hurts To see you so shy in the face of the world
I want to hold you in my arms Yet I want it to be of your own will I could never hold you against your will I would never dream of violating that pride of yours
I want to sweep you off your feet Want to show you what my love is like I’d do anything I could to please you
So, consider this. Am I worth giving a chance? That’s all I ask Don’t say a word just yet Think about it.
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:54:30 GMT -5
know this is right From the way my body shuders intense pleasure just by the thought
I can see it in my mind Feel it on my lips Even though theres nothing there
I know I can please you I know I'm right Love to make you smile to hear you laugh
I want to wrap my arms around you hold you gently an eternity could pass and I would not care
I asked you before If you would date me but never did I truely show how I feel towards you
My words will never be enough Only actions can convery the depth Yet it feels selfish to take your hand to wrap an arm around you to touch you in any way
so I reach out repeatedly my soul in my words trying throwing everything in my being into catching your attention
I cant do anything more even if i desire more I must seem weak to others who can reach out and grab what they deisre No matter what I feel I never could do anything to hurt you
To say i want to make you mine would be a lie I want you to be with me That is true Yet you can never own someone. I hate it when people say that
For a heart can only be given not taken. You cant make some one love you All you can do is be yourself and hope that maybe that bond will grow
Thats what I have hoped against hope for I know it wont happen. Such is my life I'm nothing special
No one would give their heart to me not even in my dreams can I see that reality I may be trusted and i may be valued as a friend but never am I the one who is loved. Maybe though. you'll be the one to change that
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:55:08 GMT -5
How weak are we? So easily corrupted Twisted from what were were Jaded from what we could be
I look around everyday and see so much wasted potential so many fools who think they have all the answers
Rash moves Stupid words Bind hate The need to intoxicate
Drown your sorrows with a glass of whiskey Gotta move faster, faster Put space between you and your fears
When given power we abuse We like to think of ourselves as invincible We take risks which are insane compasions hardly in our name
We push away what we love and destroy our souls with objects a new car a new house a fancy chandelier
Forget whats real Loose our self in the glit and glam Amnesia of where we've been who we've known and we were
Corruption is the norm its all right if no one sees? is that what your telling me I disagree
You cant hood wink me I wont be slighted by your shoty words if your a weaver of lies them waeave them words Just a little bit tighter
I wont buy into your lies Simple as that I reject your ideals, and substitute my own. Get used to it. I'm livin my way.
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:55:29 GMT -5
I feel strong today now that I've sealed the pain away I've pulled through again My hope is gone replaced with this strength
I know not from where it flows but it rushes filling every fiber of me
Why does it allways return to me after I have been hurt Is this the strength that lies just with in my genes the strength of survival?
Or is it something more Was there a trigger? Those dreams, her arms around me and that mans constant struggle We're they the triggers to this strength.
Was that man me? The me I wish to be? Vision which could come. Is this the true me? It matters not
I feel the wind, it binds hearts together I know right now, that the same wind I feel upon my face, embarcing me is the same wind which touches you today somehow this gives me strength.
To know the wind carries past us all Constant motion with purpose I wonder if it can one day lead me where I need to be Show me the way make me see where my hope lies
This strength will last With each scar I become a little stronger Not from any built walls but just from expierince.
Night falls, and the moon rises The suns rays shine so bright upon us I know I'm alive and I'll keep on living The light with in wont die.
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:56:03 GMT -5
Never did I think such darkness would cloud my heartagain
The symphony continues Everyone lamenting there pain
I see it so clearly now I was right but how could I have known
My instincts were sharp Yet my sin is still the same the sin of ignorance Forgivable.. but a sin all the same
I couldnt move imobalized Every muscle stiff As if not made of flesh but stone
The blood pounded so greatly So much I feared the noise of existance I couldnt lift my head from the bed. So much pain and its partly my fault
They say the road to hell Is paved with good intentions I now know this partly to be true My intent was good Yet I have become a trigger for pain
Yet maybe... Maybe I can still be the catalyst of change The healer who's words lead to something better
I wonder though Am I strong enough To cast away my hearts desire? Can I overcome myself?
I dont think its right to cast away my fealings Yet I know what must be done to right the wrongs If my love is the problem Then I will seal it away For an other time and another day
This is the path I choose no... this is the path I must take If I dont, then everything is for nothing
I walked in the place of the dead today The light which danced through the trees was so soothing Enchanting I sat there for some time, just feeling the gente breeze upon my face.
When I left that place, I rode as fast as I could Allowing the wind to engulf me
I will become stronger I will keep living as I am You need me as a friend right now and thats exactly what I will be. I'll try my best to help you I swear that.
I made two promises in reguards to you The first one to Crystal The second to myself I pormised to her that I would treat you right and to myself I promised I would never harm you and that I would allways be there to help And here I am having broken part of that but I can still stop the wheel There is no fate, your not destined to follow any path Neither am I I wont allow things to spiral out of control I will hold strong to what I believe in. I wont allow you to continue hurting inside.
Not for any longer then I have to. When your ready you'll hear my words and I pray that they will be strong enough to help you to heal you Thats all I desire Yet I desire this for most everyone
Suffering I hate it No one should suffer Not as long as theres someone who can do something to make the pain less.
I guess I really ask for all the big things I ask for life I ask for love I ask for peace of the heart and mind I ask for fufillment.
But is that really to much to ask? Is it wrong to want those things for myself? as well as for others?
I dont care what the answer is Suffering should be dulled.
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:56:28 GMT -5
Why do I feel, as if I've taken my first breath? Intense pain Blazing truth
I couldnt see it before How I dove into darkness To bask in light. I ignored a part of my heart
Chasing as does all humanity after what they can not have Ignoring the truth in my heart.
I cant forget my first thoughts of you Nor can I forget the hell we both walked through
In that time there was nothing more important to me Then protecting you, and helping you In any way I could If then I thought anything else I was lying to myself.
I want now to do what I didnt before I want to know you better Want to encourage you Support you. Help you become better
I want to help heal that wound That jagged wound which was caused by our ordeal.
You have such potential More then you give yourself credit for Take my word for it Your one of the kind Your amazing beyond the meassure of what words can exspress
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:58:59 GMT -5
I thought For some time Of how to write this How to paint you with my words You who confuse me
I’ve seen many sides of you The insecurity Set against the warm background of kindness The pain And the laughter
The trouble of writing this Is my own lack of understanding Of my own self, of my feelings I’ve felt the gamut of emotion for you.
Your innocence makes me smile You can be so cute at times. Love is the word of your life. Tolerance is in your nature.
You make the difficult seem easy And the impossible seem like reality Fill me with a sense of hope A type of hope that I often forget.
The simple kind which flows freely Unhindered by my own questioning mind Simple complexity is your nature
Always something new to learn Never a dull moment Laughter and amusing words The simple pleasures of this world
That’s all there is around you A sense of motion I feel as if I can reach the stars
You are so giving of yourself Its refreshing to see some one with such a large heart I’ve seen you bend over backwards I remember thinking That it must get tiring
That’s why I try to take care of you Because your always trying to take care of everyone else Cant have you ignoring your heart. Wont stand for you doing anything that you don’t want to. I’ll be your shield, your safety net. If you fall I’ll catch you. If you stumble I’ll steady you.
As your friend I promise That I’ll be there for you all the time I don’t care if you have to beat me with a shoe Just to wake me up. I wont be angry I’ll just have to be awake. Your far more important Then a good nights rest.
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 20:59:41 GMT -5
I wonder as I sit here Caught with in my reflections on the world What it is about you Which draws me in As if wire unseen were gently pulling me close.
I cant help but think, that maybe its because you’re the unknown. People dislike the unknown. They cant wrap there minds around what isn’t clear cut. Cant comprehend the subtle complexities which make you perfect in your own right.
Most people, cant be bothered to look beyond the surface. Wont admit the simple truths of life That everyone has in some way been shaped by there past Don’t care enough to question what it was that made you how you are.
Yet here I am asking what they will not. Willing to see the things they wont I look in your eyes And I feel a strange sense of calm come over me. I could be lost here for ever just gazing into you.
You seemed so cold at first Yet I insisted upon knowing more Now I cant help but be drawn to the true warmth which you conceal
I wonder why you conceal your warmth behind a sheet of ice. Why do you isolate your self from the world. Are you walling yourself off to keep us out. Or to see who cares enough to climb over those self constructed walls. You care so deeply and fiercely for some things. Its almost frightening.
What made you this way? Did you loose something you cared about? Have you been hurt in such a way That you cant bare to see them drift away.
In some ways I want to know the answers to these questions. Yet I don’t. To admit that something happened to make you this way. Means that you have suffered The thought of you suffering Is one which my heart cant bear.
Yet I must know Because of my own past My imperfections which shine so clear My conflict avoidant and passive nature.
I realized, that this was a different feeling One crafted of stronger things then my imperfections I knew it stemmed from my feelings for you. Feelings I can not deny They exist, a roaring wind with in me. Filling me till I feel I can fly.
Crushing me till I cant breath It is both a weight and a freedom. I wonder if this is love Or is it just my mind craving as all humans do To get what they cant have
I have looked deeply into myself Felt all the pain in my life To find the answer to that question
If this isn’t love, I don’t know what love is. I am young, and wont pretend to know everything Nor will I pretend that I ever will know anything.
All I know is that I cant just forget you. Cant just throw away the only person who was worth it. Worth it to throw away all my fears. To give of myself, with all imperfections to you.
I want, more than anything else For you to feel the same way. Of all the things I could wish for You’re the thing that would make me the happiest.
I wouldn’t choose to change my past. To lessen the pains in my life I would choose the joy I feel around you.
Everyday I see you I fight with myself Fight that urge to just grab your hand To brush the hair from your face To show you how I see.
I don’t want anything more Then to hold you. My feelings for you are pure Not tainted with lust. I am not tempted For I respect you I respect your body and your soul So much that these poems The best indicator of my feelings for you
Will likely never fall into your hands For I almost feel it a violation of your thoughts To show you such a thing. Since I know That you don’t feel the same way.
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Post by jasonmar on Aug 3, 2007 21:00:21 GMT -5
I am not so naive As to believe That we are set to follow one path Like a train, bound by the rail No escape
If that were true Then what of our choices? Where would the meaning be? If everything were determined Why would we not be as stone. Unable to do anything save exist
I do not feel any strings pulling me No force dictating my moves Save the string of my heart Which though influenced by the world By forces it does not always understand Is still its own.
We may be thrust into situations In which we have no control But what happens next is not predetermined We have choices however bleak they may be
Some people make the choice to take there life When they have nothing left to loose Others use every fiber of there being so that they May look towards the light They may be chained But just seeing that light, may keep them alive For just a little longer.
I see you throw yourself to the wind. All I can do is toss you these words A life line of beliefs.
Those who allow themselves to be tempest tossed Simply put, are weak Take charge in your life. Carpe Diam! Stop strangling your self with the what ifs And what could have been’s Stop moving for the sake of moving
Move with purpose Move with poise Waste no action Waste no breath
Live, live with zeal So what if you’ve been hurt We all carry are fair share Of hidden scars.
Your still alive So take that life Take it in your hands Feel the truth of your being If you don’t like it change it.
Grow! Learn from that pain Then toss it away. Your stronger then you know
The human spirit itself is stronger then you know. People endure everyday things which make Our blood run cold So for once, lets put our pain in perspective. See how petty it really is.
See how, we have a chance. To make something great of ourselves. Don’t throw away the opportunities you’ve been given. Live well.
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